Being an Empath…

If you’ve never heard the term it’s probably because you don’t have a neurotic mother who feels the need to diagnose everything. No, my mother is not a Doctor but she IS an Empath. I seem to be the only child of hers who inherited this.

empath

What is an Empath? Taken from the word empathetic, Empaths are highly sensitive to emotions around them. Everyone experiences this emotional roller coaster in different ways. I tend to empathize with people even if they are wrong. I tell myself that even if they are wrong, they feel they are right and that is just as real as being right. I am constantly trying to be the observer to not get taken advantage of, and let me tell you….It’s VERY tiring. I’m always thinking about being as much of a shadow as possible. I look in my blind spot when I’m walking so that I don’t cut people off; I feel guilty if I get freebies or privileges because it isn’t fair to someone else who didn’t get privileges.  I feel guilty for even having a nice pair of shoes if someone walks by with ripped shoes. “Why should I have good shoes while this person doesn’t??”

Imagine your every waking second constantly wondering if you have ever said anything wrong to someone, or feeling like you need to make it up to them when you did nothing, but rather looking for something to feel guilty about. I would say that I’m an extreme case but we exist and if you read this and think “That’s soo me” then you are probably an Empath.

Signs you are an Empath

. You cry during commercials

. You feel the need to fix people problems

. You are hard on yourself

. You feel other people moods and let it affect yours

. You don’t like large crowds or high traffic areas

. You just want to go home at most given times

. You can’t just shake moods

. You can get depressed for no reason

On the other side of the scale, there are Narcissists.  I find that people who are narcissists pretend to be empaths but an empath can sense the fakeness and usually avoid them completely. Empaths have a hard enough time dealing with regular emotions, let alone the emotions of a narcissists. Confusing?

People who do kind things for others with the theory that the person will now be in their little book of people to ask for favors, fit into the narcissist category. It’s confusing because they seem so helpful but the reality is they are banking it for the future and believe me, they will remind you.

I find it very difficult to be in the same room as people who have a sense of hierarchy and I thank my lucky stars that the artful and creative people I work with are very empathetic people. Maybe creativity goes hand in hand with empaths? Most narcissists I know are smart in other ways but creativity is rarely one of them.

Signs you are a narcissist

. You go out of your way to tell people you don’t do a certain thing to blind them from the fact that you do when they didn’t even ask “I only drink one glass of wine a week”

. You do favors for people either to have them do one back or so that they tell everyone that you’re a ‘great person’

. You are constantly late for meetings, gatherings etc

. You feel the need to be the center of attention even if the occasion has nothing to do with you

. When someone says something nice about someone or something you immediately feel the need to express the opposite opinion.

. You are cold and unsympathetic towards others.

. You wonder why the world hates you

. You feel like anyone happy is kidding themselves

. You think everyone who has any success is just ‘lucky’

These are just some of the behaviors of a narcissist.! It takes time but they need to think about what effects being self centered has on others. It uses up peoples energy. they make people feel like the world has crumbled and that people are no longer beings but just objects to help you get what you want.

You don’t have to be an empath but you do have to be more kind and stop being so insecure. It’s probably very hard for your family to watch you treat others poorly and it only makes your own life a living hell.

If you honestly think about this and find you are a narcissist, PLEASE take some time to create some better morals and values for yourself! It isn’t too late!  If you stick to your morals and values, you will see the improvement in your life and the power that it brings is such a genuine one. It gives you a feeling of self worth and all of a sudden you don’t feel like so-and-so is getting ahead of you, or that Billy doesn’t love you.

Don’t worry though..if you are not an Empath it doesn’t mean you are less than or a narcissists, it just means you don’t have to live every day with emotional baggage!

Just some food for thought on this Friday!

-Keira